Top 20 porichoygupto Highest Rated Reddit Posts of All Time

My boss said, “Can I have a brief word?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 2
Published : 7 hours ago
Comments : 0

“Dad, what does coincidence mean?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 5
Published : 6 hours ago
Comments : 0

My mom was an excellent ventriloquist.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 21
Published : 1 hour ago
Comments : 2

/u/username goes to get his weekly groceries.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 1,957
Published : 1 hour ago
Comments : 42

“Officer, how did the hackers manage to escape?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 41
Published : 10 hours ago
Comments : 2

My grandfather always said, “Be envied, not envious.”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 36
Published : 10 hours ago
Comments : 6

My wife claims that I’m the cheapest person she has ever met.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 348
Published : 14 hours ago
Comments : 7

I just bought an expensive car, and found out the reverse gear was broken right after I drove out.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 28
Published : 22 hours ago
Comments : 2

My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 20
Published : 22 hours ago
Comments : 0

I was about to play cards after a long day’s work, but I found the aces missing.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 38
Published : 23 hours ago
Comments : 5

“You are under arrest for downloading the whole of Wikipedia!”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 171
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 1

My wife: Why don’t I ever seen you mop, vacuum, or sweep?

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 27
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 1

As a doctor, I am addicted to hitting my patients on their knees to test their reflexes.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 234
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 11

Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 7
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 0

Every night, my roommate gets high and watches the Benjamin Button movie in reverse.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 8
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 1

The pulley is the machine with the biggest ego.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 1,493
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 12

“Nope,” says the Pope.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : puns
Points : 83
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 3

“Dad, is the Fibonacci sequence hard to understand?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 9,414
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 231

I asked my ex, “Did you think of anyone else when we were having sex?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 14
Published : 1 day ago
Comments : 2

My wife and I started arguing as to who gets to use the microwave first.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 30
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 1

I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used it to roll his joint.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 32
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 2

Jesus’ brother, James: Boss, my brother just died. I need the day off.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 65
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 9

Not to brag, but I’m staying in the same hotel room as the one Lebron James recently stayed in.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 2
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 4

My friend was showing off his tattoo of Pi on his face.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 17
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 4

My stripper friend drops her kid off at my place when she goes to work.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 14
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 0

My wife was complaining that I treat like her a child.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 62
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 3

My mom’s sister and my dad’s sister fell in love and eloped to the Alaskan wilderness.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 887
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 12

After our house burnt down, the cops told us it could have been done by someone we know.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 19
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 0

The bartender at my neighborhood pub calls me Kevin McAllister.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 57
Published : 2 days ago
Comments : 1

My Chinese takeout dumplings just fell in a puddle of water.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 21
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 1

Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 5,888
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 74

His days are numbered.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : puns
Points : 3,055
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 19

When I went to culinary school, the bullies used to cover me with chocolate and cream, and then put a cherry on my head.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 15
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 7

“How much wood have you chopped?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 135
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 9

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 22
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 1

I was complaining to my friend about the racism I face every day being a person of color.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 0
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 1

I want to be a mailman, but my friends keep telling me I’ll be terrible at it.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 374
Published : 3 days ago
Comments : 16

My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 168
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 4

I wasn’t sure whether I should get involved in the human trafficking business.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 1,311
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 8

I told my dad I wanted to be a history major.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 18
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 2

The original plan was to make two Yogi Bears, but there was a screw up.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 10
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 2

According to a recent study, the favorite movie of most hipsters is Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 166
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 2

My grandma is divorcing my granddad because he spent their entire life savings on a penis enlargement procedure.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 24
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 5

I broke up with my college girlfriend because she was obsessed with finding the largest known prime number.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 58
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 1

My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 120
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 6

I’m sitting and waiting for a seminar on Tantric sex to end.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 6
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 0

My uncle just asked me what schadenfreude meant, and I didn’t know.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 6
Published : 4 days ago
Comments : 0

My mailman friend tells a lot of jokes about undelivered letters.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 11
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 3

My son asked me, “Dad, what is coincidence?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 234
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 13

I just visited a posh strip club in Northern Canada.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 6
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 2

I recently changed my alarm clock music to a Justin Bieber song.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 527
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 17

After I had a peek at my girlfriend’s drivers license, I decided to break up with her.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 1,103
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 35

A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 65
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 7

My wife thinks I’m an idiot who can’t even do the simplest things right.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 6
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 0

My grandpa just walked into my room with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 26,327
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 201

I just yelled, “F, YOU GUYS!” at my students.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 109
Published : 5 days ago
Comments : 11

“How does it feel to be the world anagram champion?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 2
Published : 6 days ago
Comments : 6

Approximately 56% of strippers are working their way through college.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 144
Published : 6 days ago
Comments : 5

All you dads out there couldn’t hold a candle to my dad.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 48
Published : 6 days ago
Comments : 3

My wife was complaining that I’m too lazy. I told her it’s not my fault.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 37
Published : 6 days ago
Comments : 0

It may not be politically correct to say this,..

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 19
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

The cops are questioning me about illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 391
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 17

For the next Olympic Equestrian contest, they are renaming the “Show Jumping” event.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 6
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

I was visiting Bermuda, and went to check out their Philharmonic orchestra.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 6
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

Not to brag, but I made some incredible dinner last night.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 76
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 13

At dinner, my parents told me that they always thought about having another child.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 45
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

My science professor said that he’ll show us his transistor.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 10
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

A congressional aide asks the politician, “What should we do about this abortion bill?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 184
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 11

Whenever I see someone jogging on a cold winter morning, I always think to myself, “Wow! I’m so impressed....

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 8
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

Sex with me is like a German opera.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 134
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 5

My kid and I went to the pet store, and now he wants a pet porcupine with no quills.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 12
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

Doctor: You have a hip injury.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 20
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

I was trying to imagine a world without hypotheticals.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 9
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

What is white and in the Olympic 100 metre track final?

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 5
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

TIL: You can know an ant’s IQ by seeing how it reacts to fire.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 18
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 2

Doctor: Your hand is broken. I’ll put you in a cast, and it’ll recover.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 12
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

If I was a celebrity, I would be happy to endorse podiums.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 11
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

Ewok moms are always happy with how well behaved their kids are at home.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 7
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

I asked my wife to say 4 things about me. She said I’m mature, I’m polite, I’m perfect, ...

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 38
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 5

Tiger Woods’ girlfriend had a baby via C-section yesterday.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 3
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

As I was watching my wife give birth, I was proud, amazed and a little surprised.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 11
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

Every time I watch a Jennifer Anniston movie, it seems like she’s playing the same person.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 37
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

I convinced my wife to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her butt.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 7
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

One of the joys of parenthood is to snuggle into your child’s bed during a thunderstorm to make sure they’re not scared.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 27
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

For the upcoming holiday season, I was thinking of making my parents the same thing I do every year.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 3
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

The three unwritten rules about procrastination.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 64
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 5

IRS Auditor: For your tax return, you just wrote down “Money for Nothing, Checks for Free??”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 19
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 3

Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, was arrested yesterday, but thankfully didn’t spend the night in jail.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 19
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

The inventor of the calendar was so excited about his new discovery that he ran to his wife to tell her.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 18
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 3

I walked into my dyslexic friend’s room, and saw him putting black paint on his penis.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 4
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 2

I don’t follow English soccer, but if I did, I’d be a supporter of West Ham.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 24
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 1

I asked a sweet old woman, “Excuse me, but can you tell me how to get to the hospital?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : 3amjokes
Points : 1,427
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 16

A sketchy guy just came into my shop and bought six smoke machines. So I called the cops.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 6,585
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 46

(At the vet) “Doctor, my two pet birds seemed to be stuck together. What is going on?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 32
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 2

I miss those hot summer nights when you can open all the windows and fall asleep naked.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 15
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

Kid: Dad, let me be frank.... and if you say, “Hi Frank, I’m Dad”, I’m gonna be super pissed.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 416
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 7

“Would you like to have sour cream, bacon, and chives on your potato?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 4
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

Peter Dinklage fired his agent today for incompetence.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : dadjokes
Points : 11
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 2

I saw my kid reading Fahrenheit 451, and asked him “How do you like it?”

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 4
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 0

When I was a child, my dad used to play frisbee with me every day.

Author : porichoygupto
Subreddit : Jokes
Points : 30
Published : 1 week ago
Comments : 2