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The vagina has more than 8000 nerve endings
Why does Batman wear Dark clothing?
Husband was screwing his secretary up the ass when his wife walked in
I'm a masochist. There's nothing I love more than getting up at 3 in the morning for a cold shower.
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Trump, Clinton, Obama, and Bush each ran a mile.
A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.
Who was the first plagiarist?
Women Are Like Snowflakes
When i was a young boy my mom would always tuck me in,
Why did the console player cross the road?
I just want to thank my bank for lending me the money for my new house.
"Son, I found a pack of condoms in your room."
As I sat there scratching my ass, and spying on my neighbor washing her beaver, one thing crossed my mind.
Why do so many robots live in Africa?
Chuck Norris once passed 6 kidney stones.
What is the most popular type of tree in California?
Before graduating to full priests, the candidates had to undergo
Minecraft is Racist
A woman was in court being sentenced for beating her husband to death with his electric guitars...
Why did the Mexican take a Xanax?
My great-grandfather warned everyone that the Titanic would sink
What is the distinction between nervousness, fear and panic?
The teacher asks the student, what do you choose?
Why is ‘Dark’ spelled with a k and not a c?
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
To the man who invented autocorrect
The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger
Lion and Rat
What movie was basically just an ad?
I have bought my wife a fridge for christmas.
So a prostitute offered me to do anything for 500 bucks..
What did the slaves owners use to purchase their slaves?
I'm just like a living wikipedia
Last Christmas my parents got me a pair of flip flops with matchbox cars glued to the bottom..
Trump is doing everything in his power to make Mexico pay for the wall
“It’s impossible,” said pride. “It’s risky,” said experience. “It’s pointless,”said reason. “Give it a try,” said the heart,
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant, I'll kill him...
Two friends are talking about the war on the Arabian Peninsula. One asks the other, "Didn't a bunch of kids die or something?" His friends responds:
Please stop putting flyers on my trucks windshield.
I went to the doctors office yesterday
I took an online test to see how much I'm like Hitler.
"Mom, I'm dating a man."
"Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Why did the Romans nailing Jesus to a cross lead to Christianity being the world's most believed religeon?
A blonde tries to prove that blondes aren't dumb at a blonde convention
Protesters in Paris just attacked a fromagerie (cheese shop)!
A cowboy walks into a saloon and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
Only anti-vaxxers will get this.
Teacher asked the class to draw a nativity scene.
I love the way the earth rotates...
A Nun is very distraught...
Why did the old man fall in the well?
I like my coffee like I like my slaves.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse...
Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.
In what way is life like a circle?
Normally I’d never be one for a threesome.
Why was Hitler Destined to fail?
"Now cut the red wire to defuse the bomb, sir" said the defusing expert calmly to me over the phone
How do you make Holy Water?
Friends are like snowflakes...
What do you call a gay person asking a question?
What do you see when a duck bends over?
I made a promise to my new pair of underpants.
An ugly guy walks into a bar...
My wife asked me if I knew how to spot a fake beach
If you have a beard and wear robes, you're a Wizard. If you have a goatee and wear robes, you're a Sorcerer...
What to do when your mother in law is zigzagging across your backyard?
What's Hitler's favorite Christmas song?
I wouldn’t say that I’m psychic,
Homeless people are a lot like wikipedia
What is a Jewish conspiracy theorists biggest fear?
Last Christmas I gave my grandad a prostitute and a duvet....
2 Rednecks are sitting on the front porch.....
What is United Kingdom's top song for December 2018?
There's no need to feel down when fat shamed.
"I'm NOT a window cleaner!"
My Friend and I were exploring the Appalachia on Fallout 76
A man sees an extremely pretty nun walk onto the bus...
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Why did God make women so pretty but dumb?
Where do horses go when they get sick?
I introduced my communist friend to Minecraft the other day.
Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes.
When I trained to be a doctor, I decided to specialize in lobotomies.
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail
I spent yesterday afternoon making a belt out of watches,
I am the Boss
The Ikea saleslady wants to have sex with me for some reason
I was super sad when my crush told me she only likes me as a brother...
3 guys go out drinking one night.....
If I had two fish I’d name them one and two...
First you're Russian,
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." poof.
Mohammad goes to his new school after moving to Dublin
Why couldn't the hobbit go into the bathroom?