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A shy priest greets the wedding guests to the Chapel. He's very nervous and doesn't say much.
Apparently, 29% of pet owners let their pet sleep on the bed with them, so I gave it a try...
A Mormon was seated next to a Irishman on a plane..
How does a Mexican cut a pizza?
I found a place where the recycling rate is 98%
Just found out that cock fighting is done with chickens!
I had a date tonight. It was pretty sweet.
My drug test came back negative.
A Blonde's Password
Jokes are like the people.
Why couldn't the life guard save the drowning hippie?
My girlfriend asked me if I had ever I peed in the shower. I said "yes, twice, but they were both accidents"
Job Interviewer: In the event of a fire, which steps would you take?
If you pour Root Beer into a square glass...
I'm divorcing my wife. First it was the mailman, then it was my best friend, then it was her ex...
A man is driving down the freeway
What does an indecisive person wear?
Kid and barber
THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!
Up in the air
Why are married women...
Two mathematicians are having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about what the unwashed masses understand about math.
My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.
What do you call the bouncer at a gay bar?
I just saw a farmer shave a sheep in 1 second.
I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early
I just saved a bunch of money on Christmas presents....
I'm sure my mate is having an affair with my wife...
Guy walks into bar
What Does EA Call A Patch?
What do you call a singing laptop?
[Help] There's this really funny joke about a car that is missing its engine, does anyone else remember it?
A man was arrested for the sixth time for having sex with an unconscious prostitute.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?
How do you cut the ocean in half?
A boy asks his father: "Dad, why is the food so cold and bland?" The dad replies:
My Korean friend died today.
My girlfriend recently told me that I am not perfect
There's a new drug on the street called God, but I'll never use it.
The worst thing you can do is go to the doctor
Dad an Son
What should you do if you come across an elephant?
A man walks into a bar and orders a pint.
Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?
A blind man is swinging his dog around on its leash like a helicopter. A shocked onlooker asks "What are you doing?"
I used to be that area where water meets land...
What's orange and destroying the nation?
My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."
Having sex with the terminator was quite unpleasant
“Judge, 60% of my parking tickets are bogus!!”
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?
What do you call a black guy with severed legs?
Why don't Italians like Jehovah's witnesses?
Why did the semen cross the road?
President Donald Trump said that by 2050 US forces intend to attack the Sun if it does not stop nuclear reactions.
Why did France give the Statue of Liberty to the United States?
Hey guys please stop putting half-smoked cigarettes in the urinal
If you run 3km a day for a year
What vegetable does Trump hate the most?
An old lady walks into a bank with a million dollars.
What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippy chick?
The England football team went to visit an orphanage in Russia this morning.
What do you call 8 hobbits?
I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls.
My first day as a drug dealer
My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
What do you call a used tampon in a bowl of water?
Actual conversation between an elderly couple...
What do you call a redneck gorilla?
What do southerners do in their free time
How did the blonde die while raking leaves?
Why do blondes hate kool-aid?
My AA sponsor told me to stay away from places where I used to drink
What is Medusa's favorite cheese?
What do you call a hand job at the beach?
The biology teacher asks Johnny if he can describe what a specimen is?
A talk between two dead.
Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
POTUS walks out of the white house
Five years ago, i asked my best friend out. Last week, i asked her to marry me.
Someone asked me how I view lesbian relationships
Did you hear about the guy with a fear of subtraction?
Dad: “Participation trophies are bad. It rewards people for losing and is unfair to the winners.”
What's worse than ants in your pants?
I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office.
Why was the ejaculating clam so nervous?
What do you call a clean white board?
I used to hate Nihilist humor...
Oh my gosh! I just CAN'T believe that they got back together! After all the crap they've been through!...
What do you call it when someone blows up a Chinese restaurant?
It costs $235,000.....
How was the common drug addict punished in the olden days?
So I died and was reincarnated as a composer...
I caught two naked men in my girlfriend's apartment