Chalking it up to vaginismus or something like that. I've been masturbating for years now, and I never finger myself (as in put my fingers inside) because I didn't enjoy the sensation, but I'm now in a serious relationship and my boyfriend's hands are much larger than mine. He'll put even just his pinky inside when I'm soaking wet and I experience discomfort, but then he'll exchange it for his index or ring finger (one or the other) and it HURTS. Like I want him out immediately. When he puts his penis inside me, it hurts really badly as well, no matter how hard I try to relax. We've been having sex for a year now and the pain hasn't gone away. We use lube and it still hurts. I end up crying and apologizing, and he's very nice about it but I feel guilty because I feel like something is wrong with me.