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You could order everything in the world, but then you MUST accept that if it isnt working, it arent the tools, its the workman.
It could very well be the death grip. Yes it can be fixed. But where does the death grip come from??? Its porn.
If he is keen, he must first come off porn.
Now youre moving into the territory of trying to fix a broken puppy etc. Works for a short time whilst its exciting. Time will tell if he falls back into old patterns which is the easier way.
So, first step, no porn. THEN consider toys etc.
Also with him being a virgin, the feeling etc is all new. The distance and length of time surely doesnt help you or him :(
He will probably not tell you much about his porn habits due to feeling judged etc so dont push on it or youll be pushing him away.
I don't think I really believe in "deathgrip". When I first started having sex I couldn't orgasm from it either. With my first partner I literally never had an orgasm from sex (it wasn't a very long relationship, so hopefully her ego hasn't suffered too much), and with my second one it took a couple of weeks. After it happened once it became easier and now I can almost always finish. At no point in this process have I made changes in my masturbation technique.
I suspect it mostly has to do with having to get used to the different experience. I was a virgin until several years into my twenties, and masturbation was the only sensation I was used to. In addition, I found it hard to focus on my own pleasure because I was thinking too much about how to move my body and what my partner might be thinking.
I think the long-distance aspect of your relationship may be making this harder; I suspect being in the same place for a long time and regular sex would permanently fix this problem in a matter of weeks, but YMMV. As an alternative the Fleshlight idea sounds pretty good; it would teach him to get used to a different feeling.
Don't grip so hard be gentle with yourself