Last night my former partner (M35) and I (F36) finally unraveled the reason we can never work romantically. IMO the sex was fantastic when he was drunk... raw, animalistic, testosterone fueled fucking. He can’t remember those times. The rest of the time it was sometimes kinda awkward and neither of us were satisfied. He hadn’t touched me in 3 months before things came to a head and I said something had to change. We also figured out that I was never attracted to him physically initially, just his personality and that was enough for me to fuck him on a first date. The conclusion we came to is he needs to be made love to while I just like to fuck. It seems like I might not possess the ability to be sexually emotionally vulnerable and that leaves me feeling pretty sad and lonely. The way he describes it is like two souls emotionally intertwined and vulnerable, making love for hours at a time.

Is there something wrong with me? I honestly love him so much, yet was unable to make sex intimate even when he brought it up a long time ago. I almost couldn’t comprehend the question. Is this something that can be learned?