Obligatory this actually happened earlier this week, not today. Anyway, I
have had a toy that's basically a fleshlight with no hard outer piece. It's something I bought like 5-10 years ago when I was 18 and stupid and kept around despite never using it. Sometime in the last week or so, I decided to get it out and use it. For convenience, I thought it was a good idea to clean it by taking it in the shower with me afterward. After drying myself off, the toy was wet on the inside and kinda annoying to get dry so I put it in my towel and basically forgot about it.
Today I had to do laundry.
I live in an apartment without a washer and dryer. The apartment place has their own laundry facilities in a building nearby that I have to walk to and pay for, so I usually do laundry once per week usually when I get through all of my work clothes. Thankfully, I usually try to separate my work clothes from the rest of my clothes, so if I have a full load of work clothes and only a few regular clothes remain, I'll wash the work clothes and leave the regular clothes until I have a full load to do. One thing I don't really separate is socks.... and towels.
As I gathered my dirty work clothes, I realized I still had a few work shirts and a pair of pants still clean and I'd be washing only a small load of laundry. So, to get my money's worth out of laundry, I gathered all my dirty towels and threw them in my dirty laundry basket and started laundry on the highest temp setting. After an hour or so, I moved it into the dryer and, still not noticing anything wrong yet, set the dryer on the highest temp setting and left.
I came back ti get my clothes out and about halfway through started to notice bits and pieces of blubbery looking stuff by the lint catcher and in the dryer. Only after I've already grabbed all of my clothes (dryers are stacked 2 high and I used the top dryer) did I finally see that toy sitting at the bottom of the dryer. Digging through my clothes, there were random small bits and pieces of that mess all through my clothes and I've had to pick out pieces since before I could wear anything. I actually ended up being late for work one day this week because I got out of the shower and forgot I had to pick off-brand fleshlight wannabe blubber out of my dress shirt before I could leave. Today, I'm finally nearing the last of my blubber-infused clothing.
TL;DR Used fleshlight-like toy that I never use and forgot it was wrapped in a towel when I went to do laundry. Now I'm picking off-brand fleshlight wannabe blubber from my work clothes.