Okay so this happened when I was a freshman in high school. In P.E. our coach let us play pirate ball.

For anybody who doesn’t know, pirate ball is like four way capture the flag with balls instead of flags. The game is over when one team collects all of their color balls from each of the 3 other zones.

Anyway, after we set up the pirate ball court in the gym and played a full game, all the teams were getting together to strategize for the next game. That’s when my coach decided to start the game, and apparently the only people who heard the start were me and this other guy, let’s call him Jake.

So Jake runs to get his teams ball from our zone, and once he grabs it, I see him and start chasing him. He starts running almost against the wall at this point to be as far away from me as possible. Since I started in the middle of our zone, I was running about perpendicular to the wall.

For those of you who realize what’s about to happen, I wish I had your foresight.

So I got to him (and the wall) and I reached out to tag him, barely grazed him, and that’s when I realized what was about to happen. I literally only had time to think “oh shit” as I slammed, full speed, into a brick wall.

After I full body (and head) slammed the wall, I turned around, whispered “help,” and slow motion fell to the ground.

I lay there sobbing and being comforted by various people as I swear every coach and nurse that had ever worked at our school gathered to discuss my condition.

I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I once broke my toe in a soccer game and kept running like it was nothing, so me being unable to get up at all was a big deal. It was pretty clear that I had broken my collarbone, but at one point, one of the coaches thought I had completely broken my collarbone in half and would need surgery on it.

This freaked me out so bad that I told them I was better and tried to get up. It took 3 people to keep me from trying to get up, including Jake who swore to me that I wouldn’t have to have surgery.

The good news is my mother worked at the school, so they called her immediately to get me to the hospital ASAP. The bad news is she was teaching a class, announced what had happened to them, and then decided to finish the class before we went to the hospital. I ended up spending an hour in the nurses office being visited (and made fun of) by various people before going to the hospital and finding out that I had, in fact, broken my collarbone.

After I got home, Jake found out and called my house to see how I was doing. My dad picked up and answered “is this the guy that broke my little girl?” So Jake spent a good 15 minutes apologizing to my dad before he could even talk to me, which was embarrassing enough, but he also spent the entire time I had to wear the sling walking on eggshells around me and trying to make up for this incident that was clearly not his fault.

Anyways, 8 weeks in a sling, 2 years of physical therapy, and 7 years later, my collarbone still aches when it rains and my classmates (who were all there) still won’t let me live it down.

TL;DR I sprinted straight into a brick wall during P.E. in front of my entire freshman class, breaking my collarbone.