Hi all,

My first attempt at sex was at 18 yo. It was with a girl I wasn't attracted to. A mix of that with nervousness, I wasn't able to get it up for PIV despite getting oral for sometime.

My second attempt was at 20 yo. This time with a girl who I found very attractive and who had an incredible body. Again, despite oral, I wasn't able to sustain an erection for PIV.

This took away from my confidence to hit on attractive girls. I then only started to hit on girls I wasn't attracted to because I found it easier. I self-reflected and thought that maybe I'm insecure about my body. I was definitely overweight, and in the last 2 years I've shed around 35 pounds and look a lot better. I even got circumsized because I had phimosis, and felt anxious about that.

At 23 yo now, I've been in a relationship with a girl for the last 6 months. We only attempted sex 3 months into it. I spoke to my doc about the issues and he said it's probably anxiety and prescribed me Viagra and told me that I should only take 0.25 mg or max 0.5 mg. I have had sex successfully, but it has only been on 0.5-0.75 mg viagra and/or the morning after taking viagra. Any attempts outside of that, I haven't been able to get hard enough, even if I've received head for a decent amount of time.

I'm now frustrated as I don't know what to make of it. I do find my partner attractive. She doesn't know about this. When thinking of reasons I could subconsciously be anxious, it could be because of my body (most people would look at me and say I'm slim/fit, but I could be stronger and I'm working towards it). But I don't think that is the reason. I did start watching porn at an early age (13) and was definitely addicted (only vanilla straight porn, nothing extreme) till last year. Could be the death grip issue, but I'm now past porn and haven't looked at it for 4 months.

The voice in my head is also saying "Are you gay dude?" but I've never even been tempted to watch gay porn.

I'm so confused. What else can I try to get to the bottom of this issue? Between the headaches post-viagra and my partner not knowing, this is impacting other aspects of my life.

TLDR: 23 year old. Haven't been able to have sex ever without viagra. Don't know how to get to the root cause of the issue.