Me [24 F] and my boyfriend [23 M] have been together for over three years blowjobs have always been points of tension in our relationship (which are his favourite thing). I feel that I make lots of compromises, but he's frequently unsatisfied, and he can't help but to sulk all day when he does not get his way. Typically I stay over at his place 2-4 days a week, and we usually have sex 2 - 5 times every week. It's also important to note that he has trouble masturbating sometimes and can only get off with a partner.

I understand oral sex is necessary for him, so I do it during foreplay for usually around 5 – 15 minutes, before we finish with sex. I have TMJ so it's painful to be giving him head until orgasm frequently, and my teeth always feel loose afterwards, which terrifies me. If I perform until orgasm (which happens once every week or so) he usually finishes on my chest, because we've had bad experiences (vomiting) when he's done it in my mouth, and I'm not comfortable with it. He knows all of this and always insists he understands and is happy with compromising. The opposite feels true.

I'm starting to feel like sexually he views me as an object. The other night I agreed to wake him up by blowing him, but I was having awful nightmares, so I didn't do it. I tried to make it up to him the day after by waking him up with morning head/sex. In spite of this he was in a bad mood the next two days, and told me that he felt abandoned and hurt that I forgot, but he knew about my bad dreams and expected it anyways. I know he resents me for not being able to meet his expectations. I've even suggested that we have an open relationship so he can get what he's missing from someone else. I wasn't spiteful, I just want to make it work, but he wasn't interested.

It's very easy to tell when he's not satisfied. He tries to hide it, but when he doesn't get his way he becomes distant, irritable, and mopey. I try to ignore it, but it hurts that it's not enough. About half of the time we have sex I initiate it, and it's all about getting him to orgasm. I don't have as high of a sex drive as him, and I need BDSM incorporated into sex to properly get off. He loves when we are kinky, but the mindset can be taxing on him, so we usually have a few weeks of kinky sex, then weeks of vanilla sex. I never pressure him into anything when he's not interested, and I can always masturbate later.

I really believe I am doing everything I can for him. I don't know how to make him happy without sacrificing my own boundaries. Does anyone have similar experiences or any advice?

TLDR: girlfriend has TMJ and teeth issues, so compromises need to be made around blowjobs. Boyfriend hates compromising and resents girlfriend for it, who then feels like a sexual object. Can anyone else relate to this or have advice?